normal, cartoon girl, snarky


I got sick from the wedding. All those people from all over the world is guaranteed to stress an immune system. So I'm all clogged and fevery and blah.  It's hard to believe that just last week it seemed so warm (after the bomb cyclone and polar vortex thing) that I was outside in a tank top when it was 39 degrees AND RAINING.

Anyway, I didn't look too bad as a bridesmaid. I still clean up okay even though I'm old now.
normal, cartoon girl, snarky

I'm less bitter and more proud nowadays

It's been forever since I mentioned that ridiculous brother of mine. Whoops!

Well, there's news. Yesterday, for instance, he graduated med school and is now an official doctor! The ceremony was hideously boring but the dinner afterward was amazeballs. How in the hell did South freaking Dakota have the best scallops I've ever tasted when I've lived in Florida? Maybe it's cuz we were at the fanciest place in the state, and the food had better be good for nearly a grand to feed the lot of us. (The waiter opened the champaigne with a cutlass!)

Anyway he's starting his residency (out of state, but not too far) in June. Thankfully his fiancee is such a talented lawyer that her firm will let her telecommute and will pay to fly her back in every month for meetings and such. They're renting an entire house in Fargo for little more than she pays for a one-bedroom in Chicago, and the cost of living decrease should be a blatant shock for her. The people and (lack of) activities and opportunities will be even more so. (I like Shannon, but damn she a city girl).

My mother's hoping for imminent wedding and grandbabies, since she's closing on 60 with no other opportunities in sight. I'm hoping Shannon gets that Corgi she's been talking about, since their place allows dogs under 60 lbs.

On a semi-related note, I recently got a shirt that says "Fitness Goal: Pet more dogs" which seems about right.
normal, cartoon girl, snarky


 Adam*, one of my youngest bro's choir pals, has a majestic deep bass I admired the few times I've heard him sing solo.

I gotta give props to the guy. It's freakin hard to sing Danny Boy without crying on a good day.
(Really, that song is some kind of weaponized form of music.)

Singing it at the foot of your dad's bed while he dies deserves at least a medal or something.


*We usually call him by his last name, but that gets confusing when stories include other members of his family.
normal, cartoon girl, snarky

Black Mirror

I recently binge watched Black Mirror. It was so intriguing I went online and read every episode review I could find. The thing that stood out to me the most is that everyone had completely different favorites and least favorites, all for different reasons. This might be the best indication of the quality of the show.

The ranking lists I’ve come across have shared few or no similarities. As best I can tell, many people tend to like San Junipero and White Christmas, while disliking The Waldo Moment and Arkangel. But these are far from universal, and I decided to make my own list (which is obviously going to be the correct one).

Without further ado: Here are the Black Mirror episodes, ranked worst to best. (Warning: some contain low-to-medium spoilers)

Read more...Collapse )
normal, cartoon girl, snarky

Vikings and skiing

I keep threatening to sue my parents for giving birth to me in Minnesota. That has to be some kind of negligence, considering I've had to spend my whole 30 years of life as a Vikings fan.

Incidentally, I listened to the game with those same parents (and the dog) on the radio on the way home after accompanying them on a ski trip to Copper Mountain. It was 12 hours into the drive home in the final seconds of the game and the car went ballistic. There was much shrieking and honking of the horn; the dog was scared out of his tiny little mind while I was grabbing and shaking the seat in front of me. We waited for the inevitable flag on the play, but none came. That was such a cool feeling. Even though I lived in Denver during the Elway years, there wasn't a deep connection since I had just moved there.

So cool.

About that ski trip - I came along to take care of the dog, who is just getting more antisocial by the day I swear. My disastrous trip to Center Village resulted in one dog fight, several attempted dog fights, and much lunging and whimpering wanting to Meet The Peoples!!! It also resulted in some lost poop bags (and dispenser), the button of my jeans, and my whole belt broken. (Jim is ridiculously strong.) He's too much of a rural dog for town life. I'm a little impressed with myself being able to hold him back when he was in full KILL MODE. (The dog he was trying to kill was nice! and the owner was nice! Jim is just too traumatized by Oscar... and Dakota and The Girls and Spirit and Tory and Shady and Miss Bailey and... okay I think I get it now. It breaks my heart because he was so friendly and playful as a puppy before he got attacked all those times.)

I didn't ski, of course. Wrecking my knee a few years back was the last time I did that. I actually bought a half-day pass to try to learn to snowboard, which turned out to be the greatest disaster in the history of mankind. It took me about an hour to get down the bunny hill. All the instincts I had from skiing were working against keeping me upright, and I had no one to teach me except my brother, who had no one to teach him when he learned. I never made it more than a few feet before falling over.

Okay now I've depressed myself. Time to end the post.
normal, cartoon girl, snarky

It's too damn cold for this

Wind chill warning. 25-45 below zero.


I'm going to curl up alone with netflix and a hot cup of tea for the holiday. I'll miss midnight kisses from my doggie (my ritual for the last 3 years), but there's no way I'm going anywhere and he doesn't like being roused after 9 pm anyway XD

It seems like every year has to have That One Week when zero feels warm and freezing feels downright tropical. It hasn't been above zero for days and I'm amazed that so many outdoor critters are able to live through it.
wtf?, beware of dragon, weirdness

No CDC ban :(

So I had a surreal moment of disappointment over a situation being less bad than I thought.

I’m talking about yesterday’s news that the Trump administration banned 7 words/phrases from appearing in any future CDC publication. The list included things like “diversity” and “evidence-based.” It turns out things aren’t quite that bad – instead of a fiat from on high, this was an internal list of terms to avoid when asking for funding from a Republican-controlled legislature.

The reason this disappointed me was because I’d had an idea. I was about to promote it when I learned the people who work for the CDC aren’t being forcibly censored, which would be much easier to resist than what's really happening.

It’s a moot point now, but I’d like to share my idea because of how much enjoyment I get from it, and I think others might too.

Here it is: In every publication, note, and memo – use those banned terms as frequently as possible. Not to a ridiculous extent, but take every available opportunity to use them. Then, before publishing, use Find-and-Replace to change all those terms to… Pokemon.

Okay there would be some licensing fees and whatnot, but I like to think Japan would be reasonable about such a great idea. Replace every ‘fetus’ with ‘squirtle,’ every ‘transgender’ with ‘butterfree,’ and every ‘vulnerable’ with ‘geodude.’ Every scrap of text from the CDC would instantly go viral. Don’t worry about the substitutions sounding grammatically incorrect - sounding ridiculous is the point. It serves as a blatant mockery of wannabe oppressors, while still technically following orders. Send the clear message: “We are not afraid of you.” Show the autocrats they are small and that the adults in the room do not respect them.

My suggested pokemon were going to be squirtle, butterfree, geodude, wooper, sneasel, spoink, and bidoof.

Choosing which Pokemon should be on the list was a challenge. They have to sound silly enough to communicate the ridiculousness of the situation, be pronounceable, and be so obviously Pokemon that even someone who knows nothing about the franchise can tell at a glance. Those were the seven that I thought were best.

Honorable mentions: Clefairy, jigglypuff, woobat, turtwig, trubbish, foongus, cubchoo, mewtwo, slurpuff, guzzlord, buzzwole, and wurmple.

The 'banned' words, just for reference: fetus, diversity, transgender, vulnerable, entitlement, science-based, and evidence-based.

So... that list must indicate the worst bogeymen of today's Republican politicians. A non-homogenous population, human rights/autonomy, and the existence of objective facts. We live in strange times.
normal, cartoon girl, snarky


Oh, right. I never did follow up on the last post. ^_^;

Remember I was afraid I had toxic monster cancer? The exact severity is still up in the air, as the doc helpfully took a nice long vacation right after the phone girl gave me The Worst Possible biopsy results. So I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting until he gets back on the 22nd.

Of course they couldn't just send me to another doctor or anything because I guess they're trying to maximize my psychological trauma.

In other news, Oda just did a press release that the Wano arc won't start for another year or two, and some of it's gonna focus on Ace. That's nice. I hope I live that long.
wtf?, beware of dragon, weirdness

Fun times with healthcare bureaucracy

Background: Until last week I hadn’t had a obgyn exam in 6 years because mumblemumble. When I went last week I was asked why I hadn’t followed up on my last exam 6 years ago because the results had been abnormal. (I hadn’t followed up because I didn’t know about those abnormal results. Somehow that information hadn’t reached me.)

Determined not to make the same mistake this time, I asked whether there was anything else I needed to do before leaving, and went home after reassurances that I was good to go. Later that day I got a call asking why I hadn’t shown up for a blood draw I was supposed to do. Evidently this hospital is Very Bad at communication.

I got a call just now saying my results THIS TIME are abnormal to the point that I needed to go back asap. ASAP meant the doc’s first available opening was on the 24th, but I bullied the person on the phone into letting me schedule an appointment at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow. I feel slightly bad about hassling the staff but seriously I’m not going to wait three weeks for a biopsy that was urgent in at least 2011 and probably years earlier because fuck US health insurance.

Naturally, I’m certain that whatever-it-was has been left untreated for so long that it must have turned into incurable aggressive cancer by now. It’s been pounded into my head my whole life that early detection and treatment are the most important thing.

I can’t tell IRL family and friends because it’s not like they could help in any way and all that it would accomplish is the extra stress making their lives harder. So I’m talking to the internet instead. Cuz at least it gets it out of my system.

normal, cartoon girl, snarky

LJ is better than FB. All I do on FB is gaming under a pseudonym anyway.

Maybe I'll start posting here again? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Let's start with disjointed information of varying importance.

I’m 30 now. (How the HELL did that happen?) Though the dudes in my life are significantly younger. (I don’t know how that happened either). Still poorer than dirt and always will be. (I’ve gotten many marriage proposals, but none from anyone with substantially better prospects.)

Gee, what else.

I am a total moron in that I started smoking about 8 years ago. Considering what my life was like at the time - hellish beyond all description - in total ruin - I can’t even say ‘precarious’ because that would imply there was somewhere worse it could go - …smoking was actually was the best option I had at the time to try to maintain the barest semblance of sanity. I’m 99% vape now that I’m in a somewhat better place (having a car is a BIG deal. You can go places, and even live in it when necessary!) Maybe someday soon I’ll go all the way and quit nicotine.

Hokay, how about more recent stuff. In the last year I…

Went to Sturgis for its first weekend and slept in a tent (we ran out of money pretty much instantly, since the dude that said he would pay our way is a moron). I got to wear one of my mother’s skank tops. (I inherited three trash bags full of her lingerie. It was exactly as traumatic as it sounds.) Considering I’m a G cup bra size (I blame Mirena) the fit was totally different than it’s supposed to be and I had to rig it up a bit. (I made it SO MUCH BETTER)

I saved up gas money and went by myself to the line of totality in Wyoming to see the eclipse. Accidentally unnecessarily parked about 5 miles away but walked the whole damn rest of the way so that nobody I’d met and spoke to along the way would see my embarrassing mistake. (did I mention that I'm a moron too?) Wore a huge-ass machete (a birthday gift) across my backpack and nobody messed with me XD. There was lots of whispering as I walked by.

My Mirena IUD expired almost a year ago. In probably related news, I’ve suddenly lost most of the 50 pounds that I randomly gained a number of years ago, which IIRC coincidentally happened riiiight around the time I had the Mirena installed.  o.O;

I wonder what’s worse – the 6 month long menstruation from hell, or being on the wrong side of normal/overweight according to BMI. I am honestly, swear-to-dog uncertain which I would prefer. I'm fully indoctrinated by society’s bullshit Cult of Thin. DX

It’s actually going to depend on what my chest does. I DON’T WANT SAGGY. Yes I am ashamed of myself.

At least I’ve shed pretty much every other female beauty standard. 360+ days a year I wear my baby brother’s hand-me-ups and no makeup. I go months between shaving my legs. But there are still a few things I can’t seem to shake. Oh well. I’m still freer than most women ever get. (Permanent unemployment = no employer dress code? That doesn’t fit the definition of Pyrrhic or Monkey’s Paw, but it’s something along those lines. ...Silver lining, maybe?)

What else happened somewhat-but-not-really recently?

Uh, the Monster-In-Chief got elected. My Dad and Bro voted for him. Because of course they did. A possibly-related depressive spiral meant I could barely get out of bed mid-Nov thru Jan. I don’t know if that was the reason, but it definitely didn’t help.

Now on to current current events-

I’m glad I don’t live in Fort Myers area anymore. Irma curbstomped it. My heart and sympathies go out to the people who did not have the means to evacuate FL. I would have been one of you.

As for others? The rich-types? The sickest, most evil part of me was kind of rooting for the storm. I hate this part of myself, but devastation and wreckage of formerly opulent estates is kind of fun to see. It’s a grand drama and the vengeance of Mother Nature for everything we’ve been doing to her. I hate that the hardest hit are those who do near-zero damage to the world. But once in a long while, nature’s wrath also hits the right target. Blow motherfucker blow.
(What was that? My grandma and favorite aunt live in Ft Myers? Uhh…whoops. They could easily afford evacuation, so I don't feel too sorry for them.)

Then there’s this
From what I understand, a correct translation would be something like “Important are people who are police,” or perhaps “Worthy are persons of law-enforcement.” That sounds pretty Yoda-ish (or alternately, King James Bible-ish), but it’s still pretty close to a direct translation.

Instead, the guy ended up with “dwells concept blue-ing,” which is both gibberish and pretty humorous.